THE KITCHEN IS THE CENTER

WELL, AS I UNPACK I REALUZE THAT THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE HOME IS THE KITCHEN.   I KNOW THAT EVERYTHING ELSE IS GOING TO GET DONE, EVENTUALLY.   IT WILL GET DONE.   WON'T IT?  I AM TRYING TO CREATE A ROOM THAT LOOKS LIKE IT MIGHT HAVE BEEN HERE FOREVER.   I KIND OF MESSED UP.   I OVER SANDED.   IS THAT A WORD?    I NEED TO BE MORE DILIGENT.   I SHOULD HAVE SANDED BEFORE.   NOW I HAVE TO SAND AND PAINT AGAIN.  I SHOULD BE MORE CAREFUL.   I JUST JUMP IN SOMETIMES.   IT'S MY WORST TRAIT.   WELL,  ONE OF THEM...

WELCOME HOME

I HAVE BEEN CHOMPING AT THE BIT TO GET INTO MY NEW HOME.   I DECIDED EARLY ON IN THE DESIGN PROCESS TO KEEP THINGS SIMPLE.   TRY NOT TO GET TOO CRAZY,  AND LET THE SIMPLE ARCHITECTURE SPEAK.  IT IS IN NATURE,  SO THAT'S WHERE THE COLORS WILL BE FOUND...LESS THEN AN HOUR FROM BOSTON,  AN HOUR TO SKI,  AND A BRIEF, CAR RIDE TO MY BELOVED OCEAN.   IT SITS ON A SWEET STATE ROAD SO THAT MY CUSTOMERS CAN EVENTUALLY  FIND ME.   I AM GETTING READY FOR CHANGE.   IT'S GETTING EXPENSIVE FOR MY RENT IN DOWNTOWN EXETER,  AND I THINK I'VE ESTABLISHED MYSELF ENOUGH TO  EVENTUALLY MOVE THE WHOLE CABOODLE OVER TO EAT KINGSTON.   IT IS A LARGE HOME,  BUT THE LOW CEILINGS AND WONKY FLOORS GIVE IT A HUMAN SCALE.  COZY AND UNPRETENTIOUS.   MODEST IN SCALE.  I'LL TRY TO BLOG MY WAY THROUGH THE PROCESS... WHAT TO LOOK FOR. WHAT MY ART/DESIGN SENSEABILITY TELLS ME.   I,OF COURSE, HAVE SOME LOVELY THINGS TO SHOWCASE IN THIS BEAUTIFUL SPACE.  SO I GUESS I NEED TO START THERE.   THAT AND APPLIANCES,  WHICH THE FORMER TENNANTS TOOK WITH THEM.   I'M HITTING BLACK FRIDAY FOR THEM.

SO IT GOES...

I ALMOST INJESTED A PRIZE FROM CRACKER JACKS, REMEMBER THEM...PROBABLY NOT.  I THREW IT UP WHILE I WAS TRYING TO HEIMLICH MYSELF ON A RAIL.  IT WAS THE LUCKY CHARM PIECE (OF COURSE).  I MEAN IT, I WENT BACK (DAYS AFTER THE E.R.), AND THERE IT WAS.  A FOUR LEAF CLOVER.  WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?  I THOUGHT IT WAS STILL IN ME AS I RACED OFF THE THE HOSPITAL...I HAD IRRITATED EVERYTHING IN MY THROAT...ANYWAY BACK TO THE "LUCK" PART.  I GUESS I AM, I THINK.   I HAVE BEEN QUITE FORTUNATE LATELY.  I AM READY TO MOVE,  READY TO START A NEW LIFE.   WELL, NOT REALLY A NEW LIFE,  BUT A DIFFERENT ONE.   I'M SCARED.   I'M OLDER.   IT ISN'T EASY ANYMORE.   IF I THOUGHT THAT I'D BE IN THIS BOAT NOW,  I'D SAY YOU'RE CRAZY.   OR I AM.  WHICH I AM.  SORT OF.  ACTUALLY,  NO MORE THEN ANYONE ELSE I KNOW...

UP AND RUNNING

SO MUCH SO MUCH, THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO, I HAVE BEEN OILING MY WOODWORK, THE FIRST COAT HAS MADE A HUGE DIFFERENCE.   THE WOOD WAS SLURPING,  IT WAS SO DRY.   I HAD MY SINK CLOG REMOVED.   FRANK SAYS I HAVE SOME DEFERRED PLUMBING TO TAKE CARE OF.   MY WALLS ARE BOWING BEHIND THE SHOWER STALL... NO PROGRESS IN THE UPSTAIRS BATHROOM.   I CAN'T RENT OUT ROOMS UNTIL I GET THAT TAKEN CARE OF.   I ALSO NEED TO GET A HEAT EXCHANGER INSTALLED.   FRANKS TAKING OUT A PIPE THAT CRACKED YEARS AGO, HE SAID.   ONE DAY AT A TIME.   300 YEARS.   ONE DAY AT A TIME. 

THANKS FOR BELIEVING

LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT TREE.  WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THAT YOU KNOW THEY LOVE CHRISTMAS... OR AT LEAST THE SPIRIT OF IT.   I WONDER IF IT'S GOING TO FIT IN THE FRONT (OR BACK) DOOR.   WELCOME TO THE GRANDEUR OF THE HOLIDAYS.   YES SANTA, I BELIEVE.   PLEASE BRING ME PRESENTS.  WE TOLD THE KIDS THAT IF THEY DIDN'T THEN SANTA WOULDN'T BEING THEM GIFTS.  THAT LASTED ABOUT A YEAR,  UNTIL THE FIRST DAYS OF SCHOOL.   I ALWAYS WONDER WHO TOLD THE KIDS...

HAVE YOU MOVED LATELY?

IF YOU HAVEN'T MOVED LATELY, YOU WON'T.  GET THE ENORMITY OF THE TASK...THAT BEING SAID I AM DOING IT FOR THE LAST TIME...I HOPE.  I HAVE FINALLY DECIDED WHAT KIND OF LIFE THAT I WANT TO LIVE.  I WANT ONE WITH FRIENDS DR THAT DROP BY, AN ANTIQUE SHOP WITH A PROPRITOR THAT LENDS AN EAR, AN ARTIST WITH IDEAS, A CUP OF CRAPPY COFFEE, A LIFE THAT IS LIVED.  I NEED A PLACE TO REST MY WEARY HEAD, KEEP LOVE ALIVE, ENJOY BEAUTY AROUND AND KEEP MYSELF GROUNDED.   I NOW OWN A PIECE OF PARADISE.   AT LEAST THAT'S HOW I SEE IT.  THE LAND HAS A POND, TREES, HILLS, A LOVELY VIEW...PERFECT, THOUGH I WISH THE HEATER WOULD STOP CYCLING.  WOULD BE A COLD SNAP RIGHT AWAY.   IT'S AMAZING THAT MY DREAM HOUSE FEEL INTO FORCLOSURE AND I'M IN A POSITION YO PURCHASE IT...IT HAS BEEN ONE MIRACLE AFTER ANOTHER.

WISHING YOUR LI FE AWAY

THERE IS A WOMAN MY AGE THAT DIED LAST WEEK.  SHE HAD A BURDEN, I SUPPOSE.  WE ALL KEEP SECRETS, IT SEEMS,  SECRETS HAVE RIPPLE EFFECTS.  WE ALL KNEW HER.   WE ALL ARE HER.  SADDNESS FILLED HER LIFE, WE ARE ALL FILLED WITH SELF LOATHING...I THINK IT IS A HUGE BURDEN FOR HUMANKIND.  I KNOW OF NO ONE THAT IS EXEMPT.   I WISH THAT I COULD EXPLAIN IT AWAY.  WHY ARE WE THE EXCEPTION IN A LOVING WAY?

I AM HEADING OUT

I WOULD BE REMISS ON THIS HUMBLE BLOG IF I DID NOT GIVE UP SOME SHOPPING SECRETS.  I HAVE A FEW, WE USUALLY DON'T SHARE, BUT I THINK EVERYONE KNOWS ON PINTREST, ON VARIOUS BLOGS, AND BY WORD OF MOUTH, HOW FUN THE HUNT IS.  I LOVE THIS PART OF MY JOB.  THE BEST PART.   THE ONLY FUN PART BESIDES MEETING GREAT CREATIVE PEOPLE EVERYDAY.  I'M WAITING FOR MY EVEN BETTER SHOPPING BUDDY AND WE'RE HEADING OUT TO TODD FARM IN ROWLEY MASS. FOR PICKERS PARADISE.  NEVER KNOWING WHAT WE'LL FIND, THE HUNT IS AWESOME.  I HAVE BEEN COMING HERE FOR A FEW YEARS NOW.  I KNOW SOME DEALERS, THEY HAVE AN EYE FOR AGE.  I MEAN, I DUNNO WHERE THEY SOURCE STUFF, GRANDMAS ATTICS, YARD SALES, OTHER ANTIQUE SHOPS, WE DON'T KNOW, WE DON'T ASK.  I GET OVERWHELMED AT FIRST.  GET MY BEARINGS AND NOSE DOWN, LET MY INTUITION BE MY GUIDE.  IT'S THE SAME PLEASURE AS ART.  THE UNKNOWN, THE FEELING OF LETTING GO, IT'S EUPHORIC.   SOMETIMES A BROKEN DOLL, SOMETIMES A GIANT PIPE ORGAN PIPE, SOMETIMES A GLITTERING VINTAGE PIN   I LOVE THE INTERACTION WITH PEOPLE, THE COMMONALITY OF STUFF, THE SADNESS AND MELANCOLY.  IT'S ACTUALLY A KIND OF THERAPY BECAUSE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND OTHERS PAIN, OTHERS LIVES, AND OTHERS.  PERIOD.

MAKING SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING

MY BIGGEST CLAIM TO FAME IS MY ABILITY TO MAKE STUFF.  IT STSRTED AS A KID.  I WOULD TAKE A PARCHESI PIECE ANDA TOOTHPASTE CAP, GLUE THEM TOGETHER AND MAKE A LAMP FOR MY DOLLHOUSE.  I HAVE MADE A LIVING OUT OF THIS ABILITY.  IT'S SCARY HOW IT COMES TO ME.  HERE IS A RECENT IDEA AND THE THOUGHT PROCESS.  O GOT OLD SPICE BOTTLES FROM A FRIEND, DATED CIRCA 1960, HATED THE TYPEFACE, USED A MARKER TO BLACK THEM OUT,  A BLACK SHARPIE, RUBBED CHSLK IN TO AGE THEM, ADDED A TRAVEL-SIZE SCRABBLE TILE.  FOUND A RACK IN MY SHOP AND VOILA..

SOMETHING IRONIC

THERE IS SOMETHING SO SAD ABOUT A PERSON THAT HAS NEVER FELT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...THEY HAVE IT TO GIVE, THEY FEEL IT IN THEIR HEART BUT SOMEHOW IT IS NEVER RECIPROCATED.  I KNOW IT FROM EXPERIENCE, FROM PEOPLE I HAVE MET, I SEE BUSY PEOPLE, CHARGING THROUGH LIFE, BUYING THINGS, FILLING LONGINGS, TRYING TO CAPTURE YOUTH, THAT FEELING OF BELONGING, OR ACCEPTANCE, OR LIVING.  LOOKING THROUGHOUT THE WORLD FOR THE HOLY GRAIL, THAT ITEM, THAT THING THAT WILL BRING A FEW MINUTES OF JOY.  IT'S ACTUALLY A RUE.  A WONDERFUL PERSON WITHOUT CHILDREN TO LOVE, WITH EVERYTHING THAT THEY EVER WANT, TRAVEL, CLOTHES,  A BEAUTIFUL HOME, BUT STILL NOT HAPPY...STILL SEARCHING, A QUEST FOR FULFILLMENT.  IT COMES FROM WITHIN, IT COMES FROM A PLACE OF LOVE.   KNOWING GOD.  KNOWING LOVE.  ACCEPTING.  THE SEARCH IS A SAD PLACE.  IT CAN NEVER BE FILLED.  IT IS PART OF THE HUMAN CONDITION.  I AM ON THAT JOURNEY.  WE ALL ARE.

CAN WE WANT FOR ANYTHING

IF I AM TRULY HONEST, I WILL ALWAYS BE AN ADVOCATE FOR THE UNDERDOG. IT SEEMS NO MATTER WHAT, I I TRY TO BE AN ADVOCATE FOR THE MOST UNDERSTOOD, THE MOST UNDERAPPRECIATED, THE MOST UNLOVED.  I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, MAYBE IT IS TRUELY WHAT I FEEL THAT I DESERVE, OR CAN RELATE TO, IT SEEMS THAT IT IS ALWAYS  AN INTERESTING TIME WHEN YOU STIR THE POT WITH QUIRKY INDIVIDUALS.  I LOVE WHAT I DO, I AM ALWAYS MEETING UNUSUAL PEOPLE, ESPECIALLY ONES THAT ARE JUNK AND ANTIQUE COLLECTORS. 

A PINTEREST BLITZKRIEG

I HAVE BEEN PHOTOGRAPHING MY SHOP TO TRY AND CREATE INTEREST....SO I'M USING PINTEREST AS MY METHOD.  IT WOULD BE GREAT IF I WAS BIG ENOUGH TO HAVE AN ADVERTISING BUDGET BUT ALAS,  I AM BUT AN ARMY OF ONE AND ONE SMALL DOG.   I'D LIKE TO THINK THAT WE CAN TAKE ON THE WORLD... BUT THE REALITY IS THAT WE CAN ONLY TAKE ON SO MANY THINGS... BESIDES WORKING AND KEEPING THE HOME, I AM MAKING MY ART ASSEMBLAGE DEBUT IN NOVEMBER...I KEEP ON THINKING THAT IF I WORK STRAIGHT THROUGH, I'LL BE ABLE TO SHOW ALL NEW WORK.

ARE YOU READY FOR COLD?

I AM ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT HOW TO GRACEFULLY MAKE IT THROUGH ANOTHER SEASON OF COLD...I PRIDE MYSELF IN THE ABILITY TO LAYER EVERYTHING FROM CLOTHES TO HOME DECOR...WE HAVE BEEN BLESSED...SO FAR...WITH A WONDERFUL BEGINNINGS OF AUTUMN.   IT'S BEEN COOL AND CLEAR,  JUST THE SORT OF NEW ENGLAND FALL YOU ALWAYS HOPE FOR.
THEN THE REALITY OF WINTER CAME.  I FORGET (AS WE ALL DO) HOW COLD AND MISERABLE THE GREAT WHITE NORTH CAN BE.   I WISH I HAD GOTTEN THE PELLET STOVE HOOKED UP FIRST.  I KNOW THEN I WOULD BE HOT.   THE NEW YEAR JUST TURNED OVER.  RESOLUTIONS ABOUND.  I THINK THAT BY

I AM NOT A SKEPTIC

ALWAYS THINKING ABOUT HOW PEOPLE CAN MAKE A BETTER LIFE?  START WITH YOUR OWN.  IT MAY SEEM HARSH BUT OTHERS CANNOT BE THE ONES TO DETERMINE WHAT SHAPE YOUR LIFE IS IN.   I HAVE FOUND THAT THROUGH THE MANY TRAVELS I HAVE VENTURED ON, I HAVE LEARNED ONE THING.   IT IS THAT WE CAN  ONLY MAKE OURSELVES HAPPY.   TO THINK THAT A RELATIONSHIP CAN SOOTH A WEARY SOUL IS DAMAGING AND NOT REALISTIC.   THE FAIRYTALE IS OVER.   I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT LOVE IS THE ANSWER. .. WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?  I GUESS IT IS GOOD NOT TO EVER BE DISAPPOINTED WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE.  NEVER THINK THAT SOMEONE'S ELSE CAN MAKE YOU HAPPY.

LOVE WHAT YOU DO AND....

I FINALLY FIGURED OUT OUT.   LOVE WHAT YOU DO AND THE MONEY WILL FOLLOW.   IT TAKES TIME,  AND YOU WILL STRAY, BUT DIG IN AND CHANGE COARSE IF NEED BE, BUT DON'T SETTLE IN LIFE.   MY MOTHER TOLD ME, SHE TOLD ME IN HER ACTIONS,  SHE LIVED LIFE IN FEAR,  SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT WOMAN,  NOT JUST TO HER FAMILY, BUT TO THE WORLD.   I WANT SO MUCH MORE FROM MY LIFE,  I WISH I HAD THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT MY LIFE WAS GOING TO BE LIKE,  I HAD BEEN SO INTRIGUED ABOUT MY THEN HUSBANDS CAREER THAT I LOST MYSELF IN THE SHUFFLE.   I WISH I HAD SET MYSELF UP WITH A CAREER, THEN WHEN HE DITCHED ME FOR THE DOMINICAN HOMEWRECKER, I WOULD HAVE HAD A PLAN.   I WASTED LOTS OF TIME BEING A PARENT... HIS CRAZY LIFESTYLE LEFT LITTLE TIME FOR KIDS STUFF.   I AM STILL BITTER,  I WISH I COULD SAY THAT I'M OVER IT BUT I'M NOT.   HE HASN'T SEEN THE KIDS IN 6 YEARS.   HOW CAN YOU DO THAT.   THERE MUST BE A DISCONNECT.  HOW CAN YOU BE SO CRUEL?  I DIGRESS.

WHEN IN ROME...

WHEN I USED TO LIVE IN TEXAS, I  ALWAYS LOOKED FOR ITEMS THAT "SPOKE " TO ME...ALWAYS LOCAL STARS, BARBED WIRE, HATS, BOOTS,  YOU KNOW ROUGH RIDING. COWPOKE STUFF...NOW THAT THE INTERNET...SOCIAL MEDIA ...BE IN EGYPT IN A T.V. FEED IN A SECOND WORLD THAT WE LUVE IN HAS COME INTO OUR HOMES. I AM COMPELLED TO MIX CULTURALLY,  BLEND WORLDLY, AND BORROW EXTENSIVELY FROM ALL MANKIND.  IT IT, IN FACT WHAT MAKES A ROOM INTERESTING,  A LIFE COLORFUL, AND A MIND VIBRANT...WITH ALL OF THE OPPORTUNITIES FOR US TO EXPLORE THIS (SHRINKING) WOELD WE CAN COLLECT AND DISPLAY MANY KINDS OF REFERENTIAL OBJI.

I HAVE BEEN MIA

IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE I'VE BEEN PLOPPED DOWN IN FRONT OF MY PHONE...I'VE BEEN ORGANIZING MY APARTMENT AND STUDIO...IM TRYING TO FIND A PIECE OF PAPER FOR MY LAWYER, HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO TEAR UP EVERYTHING TO FIND ONE SMALL THING THAT YOU PUT SOMEPLACE SPECIAL SO YOU WOULDN'T LOSE IT....THEN LOST IT?  WELCOME TO MY LIFE.  I AM ABOUT TO VENTURE INTO A NEW PHASE OF MY LIFE...ONE WHERE I ACTUALLY KEEP ART AND FAMILY AND FRIENDS ABOVE STUFF AND JUNK...I THINK PRIORITIES ARE FINALLY GETTING SETTLED, I FEEL LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS IN GRADUATE SCHOOL, STEPPING AWAY FROM MY TASKS AND OBLIGATIONS AND ENJOYING MY LIFE.  I LOVE CREATING - I ALWAYS HAVE.  ITS AMAZING WHEN YOU DO WHAT YOU LOVE; HOW THINGS LOOK.  I KNOW TRUDGING AND SCHLEPPING STUFF WILL HAVE AN EVENTUAL REWARD.   I FEEL IT IN MY HEART.  I AM LOOKING FOR A VIDEOTROPHER FOR THE SHOW....ANYONE INTERESTED?

WELCOME TO THE WILD

WHENEVER I THINK THAT MY LIFE IS A LONELY TRAVEL I REMEMBER THE FRIENDS THAT I HAVE...THEY SOMETIMES DISAPPOINT OR FORGET OR EVEN HURT ME BUT USUALLY THEY FILL ME WITH JOY AND HOPE.   I WISH THAT I COULD SHARE MY HEART WITH ALL BUT ALLOWING MYSELF TO BE VULNERABLE SEEMS TO CAPTURE MY WEAKNESS.   IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE EXPOSED TO OTHER WAYS OF LOVE...IT'S A WAY TO PROTECT MYSELF FROM HURT, OF ALL THE THINGS I PUT UP WITH, IT'S MY HEART I MUST PROTECT.   WITHOUT A CARE...LEAVING MYSELF VULNERABLE IS NOT AN OPTION.   BROKEN DREAMS ARE ALWAYS SOMETHING TO KEEP CLOSED....

THINK YOU KNOW YOURSELF?

IF I COULD UNDERSTAND WHAT MAKES ME TICK, I COULD UNLOCK THE MYSTERIES OF MANKIND.  SOMETIMES I THINK LOGICALLY...IT ONLY GAPPENS BRIEFLY BECAUSE I AM SO LEFT BRAINED.  SPIRITUALLY, I EXIST TO CARRY OUT GOD'S PLAN WHICH I AM BEGINNING TO THINK IS ABOUT CAPTURING EXPRESSION, EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY.  I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY PAIN CONCEPT FOR WAY TOO LONG.  A SENSE OF HUMOR IS JUST THE BRIDGE TO UNDERSTANDING, I THINK, IN TERMS OF EXPRESSION.  I HOPE TO GLORIFY THE LORD BY HAVING WORK THAT EXPRESSES THE INEXPRESSIBLE.  I LOVE THE IDEA OF A VIEWER BEING ABLE TO INTERPRET A CONCEPT THROUGH JUXTAPOSED OBJECTS.   MORE ON THIS ONCE MY BRAIN FIGURES IT OUT.

WE ARE WHAT WE IS

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT TRYING TO REINVENT MYSELF BUT WHERE I AM I'M ALWAYS THERE.  I GUESS THAT IS IT IN A NUTSHELL...WHERE WE ARE WE ARE THERE...IF YOU EVER LOVE DEEPLY AND EXPECT IT IN RETURN RENEMBER TO ALWAYS LOVE YOURSELF, BE TRUE, CAPTURE YOUR OWN HEART...MAKE JOY WHERE YIU CAN, KEEP IT REAL, BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF...ALWAYS.

GUESS WE KNOW THE SHOW TITLE

HOW ABOUT "FROM EXTREME CHAOS TO RELATIVE STRUCTURE ".  I KNOW I HAVE TO TWEEK THAT...IT IS GONG TO BE A BALLAD / SCRAPBOOK ENTRY INTO MY VERY CONFUSED SOUL.  I KNOW MY POINT-OF-VIEW IS WEIRD,  MY SENSE OF HUMOR IS WARPED,  BUT I KNOW MY REALITY IS SHARED...EVERYONE THAT I KNOW IS WAKING AROUND WOUNDED.  I THINK I CAN TAP INTO PAIN.   IF YOU EVER THINK THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING  AND YOU'RE CONVINCED THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY ON....YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE...YOU SHOULD TRY TO CREATE A WORLD WHERE YOU CAN BELIEVE IN SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE AND SOMETHING THAT YOU DO.  I WENT TO THE FLOOR WHEN MY WORLD FEEL APART BUT I DECIDED THAT IT WOULD DEFINE THE NEXT YEARS OF MY LIFE.  I DISMANTLED MY EXTENSIVE COLLECTIONS AND BEAUTIFUL HOME AND CREATED A WONDERFUL SHOP FILLED WITH MY HEART.  ITS BWEN HARD TO LET GO OF THINGS I HAVE LOVED...BUT MY LIFE IS NOT MY HOUSE OR STUFF.  IT IS ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT I HAVE GLEENED FROM THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE I HAVE MET THROUGH A TERRIFYING PORTION OF MY LIFE.  I HAVE SAVED ONLY THE THINGS I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT,  I LIVE IN 4 ROOMS NOW.  IT SEEMS LIKE IT IS NEVER TO LATE TO GET CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE...

IF "YA KNOW ANY GOOD IDEÀS

I GAVE MYSELF TIME TO GRIEVE WHEN MY MARRIAGE FAILED...I KNOW STAYING BUSY AND HAVING A FOCUS IS WHAT UNIVERSALLY THERAPISTS TRY TO MOVE PEOPLE TOWARDS IN TRAGIC SITUATIONS, BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT THERE WAS A MOMENT WHEN ALL PROPS FAIL AND I CAN RESUME MY LIFE.  I MISS MY MATE,  I'M TIRED OF GOING THROUGH MY EXPERIENCES WITHOUT HIM.  WE HAD (I THOUGHT) A KIND OF KISMET BUT HE FELL IN LOVE WITH A DOMINICAN HOME WRECKER (MARRIED FOUR TIMES, NOW FIVE). I THOUGHT MY WORLD WOULD FALL APART,  BUT I LEARNED SOMETHING ABOUT LOVE...I WROTE ABOUT THREE HUNDRED PAGES OF A DEAR JOHN LETTER AND REALIZED THAT I NEEDED TO LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF...IT TOOK ME ABOUT TWO HUNDRED TO TURN MY SADNESS TO JOY AND MY ANGER TO SOMETHING THAT RESEMBLED A WORKING MODEL OF SELF LOVE.  IT'S  A STRUGGLE DAILY, I HAD GIVEN UP ON MY DREAMS TO ALLOW HIS,  AND MY LIFE WASN'T WORTH ANYTHING WITH HIS,  I THOUGHT.   I STILL LOVE HIM.  I ALWAYS WILL.  I DATE AND I THINK OF HIM,  I AM NOT READY TO MOVE ON...I GUESS THEE IS A PART OF ME THAT BELIEVES GOD GIVES YOU ONE MATE...ONE CHANCE TO CREATE A HAPPY LOVING MARRIAGE AND THROUGH TIME (TWENTY-FIVE YEARS),  RESENTMENT WITH JOB STRESS, CHILD REARING, TRAVEL, JUST ALL OF LIFE'S CURVEBALLS WE HAD MOVED AWAY FROM WHAT WAS IMPORTANT.   I HAD GROWN SO CLOSED-OFF I COULDN'T REACH OUT TO HIM AND EXPLAIN MY PAIN, FOR FEAR OF REJECTION.  HE MISTAKENLY THOUGHT I HAD GROWN COLD BUT EVERY TIME I GOT READY TO OPEN UP I MADE HIM "PAY " FOR HIS TRANSGRESSION.  I GUESS WE COULDN'T WIN ANYWAY.  HE LOVES HER, I GUESS.  IT MAKES ME SO SAD.  THE SADDEST PART REALLY IS THE CHILDREN...HE HASN'T SPOKEN TO THEM EXCEPT IN ANGER FOR FIVE YEARS.  THEY HAVE GRADUATED, MOVED, GOTTEN INTO SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS, AND HE HAS CHOSEN TO BE ABSENT.  HE MUST BE AN ISLAND.  THEY ARE GREAT KIDS,  I AM LUCKY THAT THEY TURNED OUT OKAY BECAUSE MOST YOUNG ADULTS THAT LOOSE A PARENT BECOME SCARRED.  I'M STILL NOT SURE ABOUT THE YOUNGEST ...SHE SEENS TO SETTLE FOR ANY FORM OF LOVE.  PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO GRIEVE...

AUCTION TIME

WHO DOESN'T LOVE AN AUCTION?  I GO FAIRLY FREQUENTLY RO AN AUCTIION UP IN MAINE (DOWN MAIN) ( AS THEY SAY AROUND HERE) .  I'D LOVE TO GO TGROUGH MY THOUGHT PROCESS...CAN I SELL IT?  CAN I DOUBLE THE PRICE?  IS IT PRACTICAL?  IF I HAVE TO KEEP IT WILL I STILL LIKE TO LOOK AT IT?  AM I OVERBIDDING TO "GAMBLE".

CALLING IT OUT

IF YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THE PEOPLE THAT YOU LOVE AND WANT TO DEFINE THEM, OR GIFT THEM A BOX...COLLAGE,  EVEN A PAINTING THINK ABOUT TIMES YOU SPEND TOGETHER.  THE TRUTH ABOUT A THOUGHTFUL GIFT IS EMPATHY... OUR SOCIETY IS QUITE SELF GRATIFYING,  AND A TRULY SELFLESS IMAGE SPEAKS VOLUMES.

SEARCH AND CHANGE

I THOUGHT ABOUT THE USE OF COMMUNICATION AS A PITHY,  FUN, QUIRKY ACCESSORY.  I LOVE A SILLY USE OF OBJECTS AS A CHALKBOARD.  WECOME TO CAMP...DONATIONS ... AND I HAVE USED BLACK LUGGAGE WITH CONTENTS LABELLED.   I LOVE REPURPOSING STUFF,  IT APPEALS TO MY GREEN NOTIONS AND I LOVE THE IDEA OF TRYING TO KEEP CREATIVE IDEAS ALIVE.

WONDERFUL WOMEN

THERE ARE SO MANY TERRIFIC LADIES THAT HAVE BECOME PART OF MY LIFE.  I HAVE A POSSY OF GALS THAT ENRICH MY WORLD..SOME ARE PRAGMATIC, OTHERS ARTSY, HELP ME MATHEMATICALLY, AND OTHERS I CAN BOUNCE IDEAS OFF OF.PROBABLY THE BEST  RELATIONSHIPS THAT I CAN REMEMBER SINCE COLLEGE.  I AM EMOTIONALLY BALANCED, MOSTLY. DUE TO A GROUP OF LOVELY SUPPORTIVE WOMEN...I LOVE YOU ALL...

WHEN TO SAY WHAT'S WRONG

I ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT WE ARE ONLY ALLOWED SO MUCH TO BEAR IN OUR LIFE.   I KNOW THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY WAYS TO GO THROUGH WHAT SEEMS LIKE ENDLESS PAIN.  USUALLY IT IS MET WITH A LESSON THAT IF NOT LEARNED IS CERTAIN TO BE REPEATED ... I HATE TO BE A FATALIST BUT I'M SURE WE ALL NEED TO LEARN LESSONS ...

HELLO SWEET ONE

THAT'S THE NAME OF MY NEW STUDIO...IF YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT THNGS DON'T EVER COME TRUE, TALK TO ME.  IT'S ACTUALLY SUITE 1 NOT SWEET ONE BUT ISN'T IT A COINCIDENCE?  I NEED A TWITTER ACCOUNT.   HOW DO I GO ABOUT SETTING IT UP?  I WISH I WASN'T SO TECHNILOGICALLY CHALLENGED.  IT'S FUNNY, IF I GIVE IT TO MY KIDS TO "SHOW " ME THEY DO IT IN 10 SECONDS AND I HAVE LEARNED NOTHING...I GUESS NOW I KNOW HOW MY BEGINNING DRAWING STUDENTS FEEL.  ARE YOU READY TO LEARN ABOUT THE PROCESS OF MAKING SHADOWBOX ART?  I'M GOING TO START A TUTORIAL IN THE COMING BLOGS. I'VE BEEN GETTING READY FOR MY UPCOMING SHOW.  TRYING TO FORMULATE A COMPLETE IDEA.  ITS HARD WHEN THINGS HAVE BEEN SO DISCOMBOBULATED FOR SO LONG.  IF YOU'VE EVER BEEN TRYING TO GET BACK YOUR LIFE...YOU CAN RELATE.

CHARM AND CHARISMA

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT TRYING TO CAPTURE THE IMAGINATION OF A TIRED SOCIETY.IT'S SO HARD TO TRULY BE TRUE TO YOURSELF AND MAKE SURE "YOURSELF" ISN'T SOMETHING THAT IS DEFINED BY OTHERS.  I HAVE BEEN TRAVELING DOWN A SELF-ACTUALIZATION TYPE ROAD.  WHEN MY HUSBAND (25 YEARS)  LEFT ME FOR THE DOMINICAN CHICKY - POO I REALIZED THAT I WAS LIVING FOR HIS LIFE...I HAD CHANGED SO MUCH TO BE WITH (AND PLEASE...AND KEEP PEACE) THAT I DIDN'T KNOW MYSELF ANY LONGER.  WHEN MY HEART WAS BROKEN I TURNED TO WRITING,  WHEN I COULD NO LONGER FIND WORDS TO EXPRESS EMOTION I CAME BACK TO ART AND IN A VERY BIG WAY.  I LOVE DEFINING ANGST BY SYMBOLS, GESTURES, OBJECTS AND POETICS.   I THINK WE CAN ATTEST THAT IS A HEALTHY ALTERNATIVE TO DRINKING...AND STUFF. I BET YOU CAN PUT TOGETHER ITEMS LAYING AROUND THAT JUXTAPOSE AND CREATE A STORY BALLAD.  TRY IT.

I LOVE A GOOD LAUGH

I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT MY BOOK, I HAVE A BOOK THAT I AM WORKING ON WITH A HERO THAT NEEDS A MIRACLE ...SHE BELIEVES IN SOME MIRACLES BUT NOT AS WE KNOW IT.  LAUGHTER AND DREAMLIKE CROSSOVERS ARE FEATURED AND RHE CHARACTERS ARE EXTRORDINARY PEOPLE IN AN ORDINARY LIFE...IT TAKES PLACE IN A GOSSIPY SMALL TOWN BUT LAUGHTER BECOMES A HERO ITSELF.  WHAT DO YOU THINK??

I AM AMAZED ALMOST DAILY

ONCE UPON A TIME WE ALL SHARED COMMON EXPERIENCES, STORIES BEFORE BED, FAIRY TALES THAT CAME TRUE, DINNER WITH FAMILY, CONVERSATIONS AT THE TABLE, THE GOOD GUY WINNING...I HAVE BECOME SO SKEPTICAL AND CYNICAL ABOUT LIFE IN GENERAL.   IF YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES, CAN IT BE SO LONG IN THE COMPLETION OF DREAMS?  DO YOU SEE A BIT OF THIS IN US ALL?

EAT...

I HAVEN'T REALLY TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF THE FACT THAT I HAVE A SHOP, SINCE I STARTED THIS BLOG, I REALLY DON'T ADVERTISE...THAT'S GONNA CHANGE, 130 WATER STREET EXETER NH ART&TIQUES.  COME MAKE, REPURPOSE, CREATE, DECORATE ...ALL FUN & FUNCTION

CAPTURE A MOMENT

IF YOU'RE EVER LOOKING FOR AN INSPIRATION FOR MAKING A MEANINGFUL ASSEMBLAGE THINK OF ONE MOMENT IN TIME...WHAT DID IT LOOK LIKE?  WHAT DID IT FEEL LIKE?  HOW WERE THE PLANETS ALIGNED?  THAT PARTICULAR WAY THINGS EXISTED AT ONE MOMENT CAN BE ADDRESSED IN A BOX OR A COLLAGE...WHAT COLORS DO YOU REMEMBER?   I LOVE THE IDEA OF TRYING (WITHOUT A CAMERA) TO RECREATE A MAJOR MOMENT...A WEDDING.  A 16TH BIRTHDAY...YOU GET THE IDEA.

CAN WE CALL IT ART?

SOMETIMES I'M ASKED IF ART IS SOMETHING THAT EXISTS OR IF IT HAS TO BE MADE.  ART IS EVERYWHERE.  ALL BEAUTY, TO ME, IS ART.  IF A WALK MOVES YOU...ART.  A WELL PLACED VASE...ART.  IT DOESN'T HAVE TO EXIST ON AN ARCHIVAL CANVAS.  HANG UN A MAJOR MUSEUM, IT'S ALL AROUND US.

DO WRITERS ALWAYS HAVE TO?

IT SEEMS TO ME WRITERS ALWAYS MUST SHOW US HOW SMART THEY ARE...I'M GUILTY OF IT.  IT SEEMS A RIGHT OF PASSAGE TO ENGULF THE READER WITH BUZZ WORDS, FORESHADOWING, HISTORICAL REFERENCES, I JUST FINISHED A NOVEL THAT LEFT ME A BIT CREEPED OUT...I KNEW THE WRITERS STRUGGLE BUT IT WAS LIKE WATCHING A WRECK, COULDN'T LOOK AWAY... STARTED SKIPPING PARAGRAPHS, FEELING REAL BAD FOR THE WRITER KNOWING HE WAS TRYING TO WRAP STUFF UP;  BUT SEEING THE SEAMS, IT WAS BRUTAL, BUT ALL WRITING HAS MOMENTS WHERE CONVICTION AND ARTISTIC FREEDOM AND BAD FORM MEET AND GREET...UGH UGH.  DOESN'T EVERYONE HAVE THAT FEELING?  READ ANY WASTE OF TIME LATELY?   BESIDES MY DAILY PARAGRAPH QUIPS.

TAKE IT FOR GRANTED

IF YOU THINK ABOUT LIFE IN TERMS OF PERIODS OF TIME...FIRST YOUTH,  RELATIONSHIPS, CHILD REARING, DEVELOPING SKILLS,  AND IF WE'RE LUCKY WE CAN FACTUALLY FOLLOW OUR DREAMS ....

PREPARATION BEGINS

WHEN YOU START TO PUT TOGETHER A LOOK, ALWAYS THINK ABOUT CLUSTERING LIKE THINGS AND STACKING TO THE RAFTERS.  THAT IS, ESSENTIALLY WHAT I DO.   SOLID STUFF ON THE BOTTOM...STACK UNTIL YOU CAN'T ANYMORE, THEN PUT A CHERRY ON TOP.  IF YOU THINK COLOR AND SHAPE. YOU REALLY CAN'T GO WRONG.   I LOVE THE NOTION ON DANGER, IT MAKES THE COLLECTIONS SO MUCH MORE INTERESTING.