A FIELD TRIP PROVIDED ME WITH A PLETHORA OF IDEAS FOR MY BARN. I LOVE THE IDEA OF REUSING ITEMS IN A NEW WAY TO CREATE INTERESTING, COZY, SPACES...THIS IS THE BEST IDEA MILL, IT IS LOCATED IN THE BASEMENT OF "OUT OF THE WOODS" ANTIQUE STORY IN GOFFSTOWN, NEW HAMSHIRE. YOU PROBABLY SEE ALL OF THE INGREDIENTS AT MARKETS, YARD SALES, AND THRIFT SHOPS. I LOVE THE NOTION THAT WE CAN MAKE MAGIC HAPPEN WITH NOT TOO MUCH MONEY.
TRULY BEING A FAILURE MEAN PLACING YOURSELF IN ANOTHER JUNCTURE, REALIZING THAT THIS TOO SHALL PASS. WE AS HUMANS RISE UP FROM FAILINGS, RECREATE OURSELVES, ENJOY OUR BEING, AND MOVE ON. EVERYTHING IS IN CONSTANT MOTION. WE ARE NEVER HAPPY WITH WHAT WE DO, WE ARE ALWAYS SURE SOMETHING AROUND THE BEND WILL BE BETTER. OFTEN IT IS JUST ANOTHER BEND...LOOKING AT WHERE YOU'VE BEEN TO FIGURE OUT WHERE YOU'RE GOING. MAKE THOSE IS TAKES BECAUSE IT IS REALLY THE ONLY WAY TO LEARN...WE ARE PUT HERE TO FIND THE ANSWERS THAT WE SEEK. TO LOVE GOD, LOVE OTHERS, LOVE SELF.
USE OUTDOOR MATERIALS AS AN INDOOR PIECE OF FURNITURE. A LARGE ROCK COULD BE A TABLE...ASSORTMENTS OF FOUND OBJECTS BECOME CENTERPIECES FOR WONDERFUL DINNER PARTIES. THINK OF AN EDIBLE ARRANGEMENT ON THE BUFFET TABLE, EAT THE ITEMS AFTER THE PARTY. USE BLANKETD, FABRICS...ALL KINDS OF TEXTURE.
EVERYONE I KNOW BENEFITS FROM MUSIC, IT IS LOVE AND LIFE. EMBRACE IT, CAPTURE THE RHYTHMS OF LIFE. ENERGY IS GAINED FROM WRAPPING YOURSELF IN THE BEAUTIFUL SOUND SOMEONE HAS SHARE WITH US. IN THE SPIRITUAL AND PHYSICAL WORLD WE CAN UNDERSTAND WHAT HAPPENS IN OUR SOUL. SHARE IT WITH SOMEONE...GRAB THEM AND MAKE IT REAL FOR YOU. ART AND SCIENCE LIVE TOGETHER AND GROW. GROW WITH IT. GO WITH IT.
I JUST SENT OUT AN INDIEGOGO FUNDRASING BLURB ABOUT THE EXES OF EXETER, A REALITY SHOW ABOUT LOCAL WOMEN I KNOW STRUGGLING THROUGH PAINFUL SITUATION AND COMING OUT ON TOP. I KNOW SO MANY PEOPLE THAT HAVE COME THROUGH THE EYE OF THE NEEDLE AND REINVENTED THEMSELVES. I NEED TO PLACE A SENARIO OUT THERE FOR MY VISION. THE SHOP, OF COURSE, IS THE SETTING, PERHAPS FIELD TRIPS TO TODD FARM, ARUNDEL, MARKETS, MY PICKERS OCCASSIONALLY, THE TYPICAL DAY WOULD INCLUDE A MAIN CHARACTER, PERHAPS OUR LOCAL RESTAURANTEUR ENJOYING AN EVENING OF DANCING...RELATING THE STORY, DISCUSSING RECIPES, WORKING OUT A PLAN TO REINVENT HERSELF. TRYING NOT TO DWELL ON OUR PAST, BUT SOMETIMES USING IT TO MOVE FORWARDS.
ALWAYS DREAM, HOPEFULLY THE LIFE YOU LEAD WILL ALLOW YOU FULFILL THE DREAM. DON'T GIVE UP, DON'T GIVE IN, DON'T BE AFRAID TO LET LIFE IN. REMEMBER TO ALLOW PEOPLE TO ELEVATE YOU...FIGURE THINGS OUT, EMPATHY, EXAMINE, KNOW GOD, KNOW YOURSELF...LIFE IS SHORT, GRAB IT AND SHAKE....BEING A TRUTH SEEKER REQUIRES STRENGTH. IF IT'S POSSIBLE BE COME SOMEONE WHO CAN DO THINGS, FIGURE IT OUT, REINVENT A NEW WAY TO DO IT THAT REQUIRES A DEGREE OF DIFFICULTY. GIVE RATHER THEN GET. BE A TRUTH SEEKER, JUMP IN WITH BOTH FEET. THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX FOR ANSWERS, MAKE SURE THAT IDEAS AREN'T STAGNANT. SEARCH FOR HAPPINESS, MAKE SURE YOU ARE LIVING IT WHEN IT DOES, BECAUSE IT CAN DISAPPEAR JUST AS QUICKLY AS IT CAME. ENJOY THE RIDE, BECAUSE THAT MIGHT BE ALL THERE IS. FEAR IS A CONSTANT, GET ON THE OTHERS SIDE OF FEAR.
MIXING OUTSIDE AND INSIDE MATERIALS, BARK AND SHELL ARE ORGANIC, FIND MAN - MADE OBJECTS AND ENJOY THE JUXTAPOSITION BETWEEN THEM BOTH. KEEPING IN MIND PROPORTION...PLACE THINGS TOGETHER, USE COLOR, SHAPE, TEXTURE TO UNIFY.
OKAY, I GET THAT LIFE IS A LEARNING EXPERIENCE. YEP, BUT WHY DOES IT SEEM SO HARD. I ALWAYS ASK MYSELF. WE ARE PUT ON THIS EARTH TO COMMUNICATE, TO LOVE, IS IT ALL OF THIS CRAZY STUFF WE ASSEMBLE IN OUR LIVES THAT MAKE THEM SO COMPLICATED? I AM TRULY AN OPTIMIST, I THINK, BUT I GET IN THE DUMPS WHEN THERE IS AN APPARENT MISJUSTICE. SEE MS LIKE THERE IS ALOT OF IT GOING AROUND. I AM SO TIRED OF THE ENERGY NEEDED TO KEEP THE POSITIVITY ALIVE. TOMORROW I GO TO SEE SELECTMEN ABOUT THE BARNWORKS PROJECT...HOOPS, HOOPS, ON TO THE STATE FOR A NAME CHECK, IN CASE THAT NAME IS TAKEN. NEED A NEW CAR----HATE CAR SALESMEN. YA KNOW.
WHEN WE TRAVEL, WE LEARN. WHEN WE TRAVEL, WE LEARN...I KNOW MOST PEOPLE DO TRAVEL SO THEY CAN EXPLORE NEW CULTURES, AND WHENEVER I GO OUT THE DOOR IT MAKE ME BELIEVE IN THE GOOD] OF MANKIND. I LOVE WHAT I DO. I REALLY DO. BUT I NEED TO MAKE SENSE OF MY WORLD. THUS THE CREATIVE ART OUTLET, MY NEW WORK AND SHOP...IT'S GONNA BE AWESOME...PEOPLE TAKE TO THE HIGHWAY JUST TO FIND THEMSELVES, THEY ENJOY THE VISIT BECAUSE THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE...WHO WE ARE
YESTERDAY SOMEONE WAS PAWING THROUGH MY PURE AT WORK. SHE DIDN'T APOLOGIZE. NOT AT ALL. I WONDER WHAT MOTIVATES PEOPLE. I AM SO TIRED OF RETAIL, YOU SHOPPERS OUT THERE ARE RUINING ME. MY PATIENCE HAS RUN THIN. I NO LONGER CARE TO SERVICE AND PROVIDE THE RAY FOR ALL OF YOU NUTS. I AM NOT CRAZY AND I DON'T WANT TO BE AROUND CRAZY DAILY. I WILL MAKE IT WORK AT THE BARN, THROUGH A MAIL ORDER BUSINESS AND A MARKETPLACE THAT TAKES PLACE IN MY BACK ACRES. EVERYONE WANT TO VISIT A FRIEND AT A FARM. HOPEFULLY THE NAME BARNWORKS ISN'T TAKEN, I LOVE THE DESCRIPTION OF IT. I'M WILLING TO WORK (ALAS, AGAIN) (STILL) FOR A SUCCESFUL OUTCOME. I REALLY AM.
FINDING AND REUSING, REINVENTING, EXPLORER ISN'T THAT THE FUN OF IT ALL, REALLY? I LOVE THE NOT I ON OF EX PRESS ING MYSELF THROUGH MY COLLECTIONS, I LOVE CONTROLLED CLUTTER. THE USE OF OBJECTS WAS A WAY TO EMPHASIZE WEALTH AND TASTE. NOW WE JUST LIKE TO HAVE STUFF. IT COULD BE A SMOOTH POLISHED ROCK FROM A TRIP TO THE BEACH, A HANDFUL OF TRINKETS CAREFULLY PLACE IN A MASON JAR, A FAVORITE PHOTO IN A FUNKY FRAME, STICK THEM ALL TOGETHER AND YOU HAVE A VIGNETTE. PUT A FEW THINGS TOGETHER AND YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL ARRANGEMENT. SOMETIMES IT JUST TAKEN A FEW WELL PLACED OBJECTS TO MAKE AN AREA COME TO LIFE. I AM TIRED OF PEOPLE TELLING ME THAT THEY CAN'T PUT TOGETHER ITEMS. IF YOU LIKE THE THING, COLLECT IT. MANY OF SUCH THINGS AND YOU HAVE A "LOOK". NO EXCUSES.
I LOVE TEXTURE, ALWAYS HAVE, TO ACHIEVED IT...WE NEED TO THINK VARIETY AND SCALE. COLOR IN THE MINIMALISM IS KEY, THE EYE NEEDS TO REST BUT WHEN YOU THROWN EVERYTHING INTO THE MIX YOU NEED STABILITY. I LOVE THINGS THAT FORM ATTACHMENTS, THE OBJECTS THAT SPEAK TO THE PERSON IN THE ROOM. IT'S THIS INTIMACY THAT CREATES STRENGTH.
THE PEOPLE WITH BEING ARTISTIC IS THAT EVERYTHING IN LIFE HAS POTENTIAL. I MEAN IT. THINGS COULD BE USED TO MAKE THINGS. I'D YOU LOOK ON THE GROUND THERE IS THE POTENTIAL FOR THE NEXT GREAT AMERICAN ART. ASK ANY CONTEMPORARY ARTIST...WE'LL TELL YOU. INTERPRET THINGS WITH IMAGINATION, FOUND OBJECTS ARE THE GREATEST. INVENT, FREELY ASSOCIATE, EXPERIMENT WITH COLOR, TEXTURE, SCALE. SCAVENGE.
I HAVE A RESPONSIBILITY...I MUST GROW, GET OVER THE THOUGHTS THAT ENABLE ME. I HAVE TO SPREAD WHAT LITTLE I KNOW AROUND, ESCAPE PETTY JEALOUSY, GROW AND KEEP GROWING. I THINK IF MY MOTIVES ARE PURE, THERE IS NO NEED FOR EXAMINING THEM. I AM BEGINNING A JOURNEY TO MAKE A ARTISTS LARE. IT WILL CONSIST OF MANY ASPECTS OF WHAT I DO. I HAVE BEEN WORK ING TOWARD THIS FOR MY WHOLE LIFE. MAKING ME FEEL BETTER ABOUT WHAT DIRECTION I TURN. MAYBE PEACE WILL BE ACHIEVED. IT START WITH A COMPLETELY CLEAR HEART. STILL WORKING ON THAT.
WENT TO A SPRING INSPIRED SAGE FARM MARKET. IT'S A LOCAL, ONCE A MONTH, ANTIQUES AND COLLECTIBLES, THEME DRIVEN MARKET. THERE WAS BEAUTIFUL BOOTHS FILLED WITH LOVELY ACCESSSORIES. SPRING HAD ARRIVED. WENT NOT WITH ANY EXPECTATIONS, COULDN'T FINE ANY THINGS TO BUY, TO SELL, BUT LOTS OF COOL STUFF. I LOVE GETTING IDEAS, MY AND BRING CAN PROCESS THINGS I SEE INTO THINGS TO MAKE. I LOVE BEING ABLE TO MAKE THINGS, THE FREEDOM FROM RETAIL. BEING ABLE TO CARRY AN IDEA TO IT'S FINAL CONCLUSION.
I BETTER GET BACK TO MY OLD WAYS. I SLIP AND MAKE A SAD TIME, IT'S NOT THAT BAD, I CAN OVERCOME...THINGS ARE NOT BLACK AND WHITE, I LIVE IN GREY. TAKE ALL I CAN MUSTER TO BE ABLE TO KEEP UP WITH ALL OF THE STUFF. I HAVE OFTEN WONDERING WHETHER OR NOT TO PUBLISH MY DIVORCE BOOK. I WENT THROUGH DO MUCH PAIN, DIDN'T BELIEVE IN MYSELF, FOUGHT WHO I WAS, CARRIED MYSELF INTO BATTLE WITH A CHILD ARMOR AND A BROKEN HEART. THE PERSON I SET OUT TO LOVE HAD BETRAYED ME AND WAS CONVINCED MY LIFE WAS NOT WORTH LIVING. I AM HURT, I AM IN PAIN, I AM CHALLENGED EVERY DAY. IT CHANGED WHO I AM.
A WAY TO REALIZE YOU POTENTIAL, IS TO CREATE YOUR SELF IN LOVE. I KNOW THAT LOVE EXISTS, I HAVE HAD IT. DESPITE THE ANGER THAT MY EX HAS THROWN UPON US, REMOVED OUR DAUGHTER HEALTH CARE, LEAVING US HIGH AND DRY, BANKRUPTING HIMSELF SO WE LOSE OUR HOME, STOPPING CHILD SUPPORT, LIVING LE VITA LOCO WITH HIS DOMINCAN HOME-WRECKER, 5 TIME MARRIED, WHORE WIFE (I'M STILL ANGRY) (I COVER IT WELL). HIS LAWYER SEND ME A LETTER, HE CHOOSES TO TAKEN HIS DAUGHTER OFF HIS INSURANCE (COSTS HIM NOTHING), AND ASKS ME NOT TO USE THE MEDIA TO VENT, HIS WIFE CAN POST A PICTURE OF HER SELF WITH A BRAND NEW MERCEDES, CAPTION "HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME" WHILE HIS DAUGHTER DEBT FROM COLLEGE PILES UP...HE IS A PILOT FOR AMERICAN, CERTAINLY HE CAN REINSTATE HER INSURANCE (COSTS NOTHING FOR HIM) AND HELP OUT HER SITUATION, SHE LIVES AT HOME, COMMUTES TO A STATE SCHOOL, AND WORKS PART-TIME, LIFE ISN'T FAIR, AND HIS PSYCHOPATHIC NARRCSISM, IS UNBELIEVEABLE, HOW HE CAN HURTS FROM THOUSANDS OF MILESTONE AWAY IS BEYOND ME. HE WINS, HE IS A COMPLETELY ANGRY EX. HE WILL BE THE CHARM TER IN A BOOK SOMEDAY, HE IS A STEREOTYPE OF HIMSELF. HOW ANYONE COULD DO THAT TO HIS CHILD, I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
I WISH I COULD TELL YOU MY LIFE, I HAVE SEEN SOME THINGS A CHILD SHOULDN'T. I HAVE CARRIED SECRETS, I HAVE MOVED THROUGH MY LIFE WITH AS MUCH GRACE AS POSSIBLE. I AM A SURVIVOR. I WISH SOME TIMES THAT INNOCENCE WAS NEVER REMOVED. I LOVE BEING FREE FROM ALL WORRIES, BUT UNFORTUNATELY LIFE ISN'T LIKE THAT. I AM MAKING A NEW LIFE FOR MYSELF NOW AND IT'S SAD SOMETIMES. I TELL OTHERS THAT IT'S GONNA BE FINE BUT IN MY HEART IT IS VERY HARD TO JUSTIFY THE PAIN THAT I FEEL. I WORK AND WORK AND SEE MS LIKE I GET NOWHERE, I AM A LITTLE TEAPOT, SHORT AND STOUT, MAKING THE BEST OF A LIFE I NEVER SEE AM ED OF. I AM REINVENTING MYSELF EVERYDAY, TRYING LIKE THE DICKENS
TO BE HAPPY. I KNOWS THAT OTHERS WATCH WHO I AM BECOMING AND I NEED TO SEND OUT A POSITIVE PERSON. I CRY IN THE QUIET FOR WHAT WAS. HE MADE ME FEELINGS THAT LIFE HAS NO WORTH AND LEANING IN THE WIND, I BATTLE BACK
UNSURE AND UNSTEADY. IT HAS MADE ME A SHELL OF MY FORMER SELF. I CAN'T CREATE, I CAN'T SLEEP, I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT THIS IS THE LIFE THAT GOD WANT FOR ME. I DON'T HURTS ANYONE, I AM FILLED WITH PAIN. MAYBE IF I WORK REAL HARD, I TRUST TOO MUCH, MY BE OTHERS HAS SPENT MY PORTION OF MY INHERITANCE, MY FRIEND HAS TAKEN THOUGHTS FROM ME, MY HEART IS BROKEN, MY HUSBAND HAS TAKEN UP WITH A EHORE, HE LEFT ON HURTS ME AND OUR DAUGHTER. THEY ARE EVIL, I HAVE SO MANY INNOCENCE LIKE TGAT, I CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT KINDNESS LOOKS LIKE ANYMORE. DOES IT EXIST IN THIS WORLD ANYMORE? I KNOWS THERE ARE LESSONS TO BE LESRNED, BUT I CAN NOT STOP FEELING PAIN...FOR ONE AND FOR ALL.
WONDERING WHAT THE DAY WILL BRING. I HAVE OFTEN THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO MY MARRIAGE. I MY DEEPEST THOUGHTS I AM ALWAYS PROJECTING MY FEELINGS, MY SPIRITUALITY, MY SENSE OF LOVE AND DEVOTION... THROUGH ALL OF THIS, I HAVE PUT MY SET OF MORALITY AND LOGIC, I CAN NOT UNDERSTAND THE WHY, THE WHY OF HIS ANGER...HE LEFT, HE MOVED ON, HE ESTABLISHED A NEW LIFE, NOW HE HURTS THE COLLATERAL DAMAGE THAT HE HAS CREATED. I AM SO SAD WHEN HE DELETES HIS DAUGHTER OFF OF HIS MEDICAL INSURANCE, EVER THOUGHTS IT COSTS HIM NOTHING. VINDICTIVE TO HIS DEATH. HOW CAN I SHOW HIM? THAT S THE TRIP, THREE IS NOTHING TO DO, HE WILL NEVER SEE THINGS THROUGH ANYONE ELSE ' EYES. HIS PSYCHOPATH WAYS ARE DEEPLY ROOTED AND UNLESS THREE IS AN EPFANY, HE WLL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHAT HE HAS DONE. THE VICTIM WILL NEVER SEE THINGS THROUGH ANYONE ELSE S EYES. SO SAD. ENJOY YOUR HOME WRECKER WIFE, MARRIED (NOW 5 TIMES), SHE'LL CHEAT ON YOU, TOO AND YOU WILL UNDERSTAND FINALLY HOW BETTER AL FEELS.
