SO I HAVE AN IDEA...DOES HEALTH SUFFER, WHEN YOU ARE STUCK...IS IT REALLY TRUE? I AM SO NOT READY TO PUT MYSELF INTO A LARGER POT, TRANSFER, AS IT WERE, INTO A LARGE POT. MY POTENTIAL. I REALIZE THAT I HAVE LIMITATIONS, I KNOW THAT I HAVE MY HEALTH, MY LIFE SHORTER THEN I WISH AND NOT ENOUGH TIME FOR ALL OF THE IDEAS THAT I HAVE. I WISH, TRULY THAT I COULD TELL WHICH PASSAGE MY LIFE TAKES. IT WOULD ELLEVIATE ALOT OF THE STEPS THAT I HAVE BEEN CHASING.
I LOVE MY LUFE, I REALLY DO BUT I HAVE HIT THE WALL. LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY. I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO MAKE MY LIFE EASIER, I MAKE IT MORE COMPLICATED. HOW DO I GET OUR OF THIS TREND? I NEED TO BE ABLE TO MAKE MY LIFE EASIER. I'D LIKE TO FIGURE OUT HOW THAT IT DONE.
IF YOU LOOK CLOSELY, YOU SEE THE ACTIONS OF A CONCERNED PERSON THAT DABBLES IN JUNK. I HAVE THE AUDACITY TO COLLECT WITH UTTER ABANDON. THERE IS A STORY IN THE MAKING OF THIS CRAZY, CRAZY, WORLD. I HAVE LOVED EVERY OBJECT THAT I HAVE TOUCHED. I AM BRAIN BOUND TO GET USED TO BE ABLE TO LET THEM GO ON THE WORLD... HOLDING THEM SERVES NO PURPOSE. WE ACCEPT TYNE NORTON THAT ALLOWING ITEMS TO BREATHE, TO COMMINGLE WITH OTHER PEOPLE STUFF...I WAS WONDERING WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THINGS GO ARWY. SO I DON'T HAVE CARING FRIENDS. I WISH THAT I MADE MY FRIENDS BETTER. THEY ARE SWIMMING FOR THEIR OWN LIVES. I DARESAY WE ARE ALL ROTATE G ON THIS EARTH, SWIMMING FOR THE SHALL END...IS THIS WHAT A MID LIFE CRISIS LOOKS LIKE? IF I REALLY WANT TO CREATE A VORTEX, I DID IT.
HELP ME REMOVE MYSELF FROM THIS CLUTTER. I AM HAUNTED BY THE LITTLE STUFF, I AM WOUNDED BY MY LITTLE LIFE, MAKING A GRAB AT TRYING TO COMPLETE TASKS, TRYING TO CONSOLIDATE MY 1300 SQUARE FOOTPRINT SHOP INTO 700...RECKLACE IN MY TECHNIQUE FOR GATHERING. EVEN MY SHARP SKILLS CAN'T HELP ME. I AM ASTHMATIC AND TRYING TO BREATHE. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS THE EFFORT IT TAKES TO GET A CAKE, DECORATE IT, NOBODY GIVE ME HELP OR CREDIT. I HAVE TO PAY PEOPLE TO HELP ME, I HAVE MADE MY LIFE THAT COMPLICATED. IT SUCKS, I'M CRYING NOW. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS MY PAIN. I THINK MY FRIENDS ARE GOOD TIME FRIENDS. I HURT AND THEY DON'T LIFT ME UP.
GETTING THERE FROM HERE LOOKS UNSURMOUNTABLE. I NEED TO MOVE MY SHOP AROUND TO ACCOMIDATE ANOTHER DEALER...PROBLEM IS I HAVE HOARDED QUITE AN AMOUNT OF STUFF, MOSTLY FOR MY ASSEMBLAGE ART. IT COMES DOWN TO TRICKING MYSELF INTO BELIEVING THAT I DON'T NECESSARILY NEED TO USE EVERY SYMBOL. THAT SAID, IT'S DIFFICULT TO SORT THROUGH THINGS I HAVE, WANT AND NEED. I GUESS THAT IS THE PROBLEM FOR MOST ARTISTIC PEOPLE. MY ANXIETY IS GROWING AS I GET CLOSER TO MOVING MY STUDIO. STUFF + STUDIO= STUFDIO. LOVE IT. I HAVE SO MUCH TO DO IN TWO WEEKS...ACTUALLY LESS THEN TWO WEEKS. I NEED TO MAKE LOTS OF MONEY, STOP BUYING STUFF, MAKE WAY FOR GOOD THINGS TO HAPPEN-AND EXPECT THEY WILL. I NEED A BURST OF ENERGY AND SOME FRIENDS THAT I DON'T HAVE TO PAY.
SO YOU GO WITH A PRICE IN MIND. YOU NEED TO ADD THE BUYERS PREMIUM AND YOUR TIME AND GAS. I GET CAUGHT UP IN THE ACTION. I START TO PICTURE MYSELF WITH SAID ITEM. I LONG FOR THE DAYS OF AUCTION THAT ARE AN EVEN THAT YOU TRAVEL TO, TO COMPLETE A JOURNEY, WITH FRIENDS, PICNIC, HOT THERMOS OF COFFEE, ALL PART AND PARCEL OF THE EVENT. I AM AMAZED AT THE KINDS OF THINGS, THE AMOUNT OF TRINKETS AND TREASURES THAT PEOPLE AMASS. YOU NEED TO STICK TO YOUR GUNS, DON'T GET CAUGHT UP IN THE FERVER, OR YOU'LL WIND UP WITH EXPENSIVE ITEMS THAT YOU CANNOT MAKE MONEY ON...I HAVE DONE IT ALL. CAUGHT UP IN THE FEVER. HERE IS ME AND THE GUYS...
WITHIN THE CONFINES OF OBJECTS. WE ARE BEGINNING TO COMPLETELY CHANGE THE ENERGY OF ROOMS BY LAYERING...CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO ROTATE MY IMAGE HERE, SO LOOK TO THE LEFT...I LOVE THIS LOOK, THOUGH.
ALAS, MORE MOVING, MORE REARRANGING. MORE OF EVERYTHING, I NEED LESS, LESS LESS...HELP I NEED AN INTERVENTION. MY NAME IS LINDA AND I AM A POTENTIAL HOARDER. IF I DIDN'T SELL THIS STUFF I WOULD NEED THE 1 800 GET JUNK TRUCK. HELP ME. I ASK FOR HELP. I'M LOOKING FORWARDS. TRYING NOT TO LOOK BACKWARDS, THOUGH ONE RELATES TO THE OTHER. I AM ALWAYS THINKING, PAYING, WORKING. I NEED TO TRUST GOD. HE WILL PROVIDE FOR ME. ALWAYS DOES.
IF IT EVER HAPPENS THAT I FORGET TO KEEP MOVING, I AM ALWAYS REMINDED...IT HAS BEEN MY MANTRA FOR 10 YEARS AT LEAST. I WONDER EVERYDAY IF PEOPLE WILL UNDERSTAND THE CRAZY THAT GOES INTO MY COLLECTING, I WONDER IF I AM EVER "GOTTEN", I ALWAYS KNOW THE STORY...A BETTER DEAL, I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS WORKS, I CAN'T PAY YOU NOW, I NEED SOMETHING MORE, I WANT, I WANT, I DESERVE, I NEED. I'M WILLING TO WORK WITH YOU, I WANT TO. YOU MAKE IT HARD. I NEED TO KEEP MYSELF IN BUSINESS. I WANT TO SURVIVE. I NEED A LITTLE MORE THAN JUST A DREAM AND A DEAL. I WISH FOR ALL THE HAPPINESS THAT LIFE BRINGS TO THOSE WHO CARE. I AM TIRED, TIRED OF BEING ABLE TO CARRY. SEEMS ALL I DO IS CARRY STUFF. BACK AND FORTH, BACK AND FORTH. WITHOUT STOPPING.
GETTING THERE FROM HERE LOOKS UNSURMOUNTABLE. I NEED TO MOVE MY SHOP AROUND TO ACCOMIDATE ANOTHER DEALER...PROBLEM IS I HAVE HOARDED QUITE AN AMOUNT OF STUFF, MOSTLY FOR MY ASSEMBLAGE ART. IT COMES DOWN TO TRICKING MYSELF INTO BELIEVING THAT I DON'T NECESSARILY NEED TO USE EVERY SYMBOL. THAT SAID, IT'S DIFFICULT TO SORT THROUGH THINGS I HAVE, WANT AND NEED. I GUESS THAT IS THE PROBLEM FOR MOST ARTISTIC PEOPLE.
OF ALL THE BITCH SESSIONS THAT I HAVE HAD, THE ONES THAT BREAK MY HEART ARE FILLED WITH ONES INABILITY TO MAKE CHANGES. YOU KNOW, WHEN THE END OF THE LINE COMES AND WE CANNOT MAKE POSSIBILITIES HAPPEN. I AM ALL ABOUT POSSIBILITIES. MY WORLD AND MY WORK ARE THE EXPRESSION OF THAT NOTION. I'D RATHER BE ABOUT THE CONCRETE AND THE MUNDANE... BELIEVE ME, IT'S ALOT EASIER. I HAVE FRIENDS THAT HAVE MANY PROBLEMS. I HAVE BEEN ON THIS JOURNEY, THE JOURNEY OF A LIFETIME. I WONDER IF IT IS POSSIBLE TO CREATE A LIFE BASED ON YOUR DREAMS, THE OTHER STUFF, THE DISAPPOINTMENTS, THE UNFULFILLED. THE SCARY, THE LOVELESS, THOSE THINGS MAY JUST FADE, AWAY. LIVING AN AUTHENTIC LIFE IS THE MESSAGE, I AM JUST THE MESSENGER. I WISH I COULD LIVE MY VERY BEST LIFE. I KNOW THAT PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND, LIVING IN THE LIGHT, REQUIRES A LEAP OF FAITH.
I'M GOING FOR MY OCCUPANCY AT THE TOWN HALL ON MAY 8TH. I WANT TO HAVE A BUSINESS IN MY BARN...I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL 1738 BARN JUST ACHING TO HOLD BEAUTIFUL FUNKY JUNK. I LOVE IT, I'M READY TO START MOVING MY BUSINESS TO BE CONTAINED WITHIN MY HOME. I AM GETTING ORGANIZED AND READY. I HAD A SLIP UP RECENTLY, I GOT SICK AND I'VE SLOWED DOWN A BIT. I AM PICKING UP SPEED AGAIN, THOUGH. STARTING UPSTAIRS AND WORKING MY WAY DOWN. ART & TIQUES SHOP WILL RISE AGAIN.
IT SEEMS MY LIFE GET MUDDLED WHEN I RELYING ON FRIENDS. I HAVE ONLY MYSELF TO BLAME. I AM ALWAYS PUTTING MYSELF OUT FOR FRIENDSHIP AND IT SEEMS THAT MAKING LIFE MEANINGFUL DOESN'T QUITE CUT IT. I HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR AWHILE. MY FRIENDS MY AGE HAVE ALSO DETERMINED THAT EVEN CHILDREARING HAS A POINT WHEN YOU AREN'T OR THAT YOU DIDN'T, COULDN'T DO THE BEST JOB POSSIBLE. I AM BEGINNING TO GET IT. I HAVE FAILED. MY CHILDREN ARE NOT AS WHOLESOME AS I'D LIKE, FLAWED LIKE THEIR MOM AND DAD. WHEN I LOOK AT THE KIDS I WISH I COULD HAVE DONE MORE, TAUGHT THEM TO BE THEIR BEST SELVES. I AM TIRED OF EVERYONE, EVERYTHING INVOLVED IN RELYING ON SOMEONE OTHER THEN ME. DO I SOUND LIKE A BITCH?? MAYBE I SHOULD BE. I HAVE TRIED TO LIVE A GOOD LIFE, I HAVE PUT MYSELF OUT AND I DON'T SEEM TO GET ANYTHING IN RETURN. IF I HAD A NICKEL FOR EVERYTIME SOMEONE DISAPPOINTED ME...I KNOW PEOPLE SAY THAT ALL THE TIME, I AM INDEED ONE OF "THEM". BITTER, OH, YES I AM.
SO YOU HIT YOUR 50'S AND YOU THINK IF THIS IS ALL THERE IS...AND MAYBE IT IS. I DON'T WANT TO BE DEFINED BY STUFF. IHAD A CRISIS YESTERDAY. I REALIZED WHAT I WAS DOING WASN'T WORKING-FOR ME. I LOVE MY LIFE, DON'T GET ME WRONG, BUT I HAVE BEEN CHASING SOMETHING THAT REALLY DOESN'T EXIST. I BET THAT MOST OF MY FRIENDS ARE IN THE SAME BOAT. WE THINK WE KNOW EVERYTHING, WE KNOW NOTHING. I LOVE THAT.
WE HAVE AN ANTIQUE MARKET/JUNK MARKET...IT RUNS EARLY SUNDAY MORNINGS, PEOPLE CLAMOUR TO GET THE "GOOD STUFF" EARLY IN THE DAY. DEALERS PICK THROUGH THINGS WITH FLASHLIGHTS AND MINERS HATS. IT'S A CRAZY WORLD. I NEED TO GET RID OF STUFF, I AM CLEANING OUT HALF OF MY STORE TO MAKE WAY FOR ANOTHER GUY COMING IN. I AM HAVING A HARD TIME TRYING TO GET THE RIGHT KIND OF STUFF TO SELL. I WENT THROUGH ONE TIME MAKING A SWEEPING PILE, IT'S NOT EASY TO GET RID OF THINGS FOR ME. THINGS SEEM TO HAVE MEANINGS THAT I SIMPLY DON'T UNDERSTAND. I WISH I COULD PREVENT MYSELF FROM CREATING THIS KINDS OF CRAZY. IS IT TO MUCH TO ASK THAT MY WORLD GET SMALLER? I MEAN MUCH SMALLER. IF I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, I WOULD WANT TO...ONLY GATHER INTERESTING AND MEANINGFUL ITEMS.
IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN, I FIND OUT MY DREAM IS A LOSING ONE...HOW DO I GET OUT OF IT? A GAL TOLD ME BABY STEPS, BABY STEPS, WHEN YOU RUN YOU CAN'T SEE WHAT IS AHEAD. MAYBE IT'S BETTER THAT WAY. IT HAS BEEN A HORRIBLE RETAIL YEAR FOR ME. I WAS LIVING IN MY HEAD AND ART BECAME MY ESCAPE. I NEED DESPERATELY TO G WE T A REALITY CHECK. NOBODY COULD HAVE PREDICITED THIS AWEFUL WINTER, BAD, COLD, SNOWY...I WISH I HAD SHORED UP MY RESOURCES. IT SEEMS TO ME I STILL HAVE INTERESTING THINGS, JUST THE CROWDS HAVEN'T BEEN HERE. I WANT IT TO WORK.
