WISHING YOUR LI FE AWAY

THERE IS A WOMAN MY AGE THAT DIED LAST WEEK.  SHE HAD A BURDEN, I SUPPOSE.  WE ALL KEEP SECRETS, IT SEEMS,  SECRETS HAVE RIPPLE EFFECTS.  WE ALL KNEW HER.   WE ALL ARE HER.  SADDNESS FILLED HER LIFE, WE ARE ALL FILLED WITH SELF LOATHING...I THINK IT IS A HUGE BURDEN FOR HUMANKIND.  I KNOW OF NO ONE THAT IS EXEMPT.   I WISH THAT I COULD EXPLAIN IT AWAY.  WHY ARE WE THE EXCEPTION IN A LOVING WAY?

I AM HEADING OUT

I WOULD BE REMISS ON THIS HUMBLE BLOG IF I DID NOT GIVE UP SOME SHOPPING SECRETS.  I HAVE A FEW, WE USUALLY DON'T SHARE, BUT I THINK EVERYONE KNOWS ON PINTREST, ON VARIOUS BLOGS, AND BY WORD OF MOUTH, HOW FUN THE HUNT IS.  I LOVE THIS PART OF MY JOB.  THE BEST PART.   THE ONLY FUN PART BESIDES MEETING GREAT CREATIVE PEOPLE EVERYDAY.  I'M WAITING FOR MY EVEN BETTER SHOPPING BUDDY AND WE'RE HEADING OUT TO TODD FARM IN ROWLEY MASS. FOR PICKERS PARADISE.  NEVER KNOWING WHAT WE'LL FIND, THE HUNT IS AWESOME.  I HAVE BEEN COMING HERE FOR A FEW YEARS NOW.  I KNOW SOME DEALERS, THEY HAVE AN EYE FOR AGE.  I MEAN, I DUNNO WHERE THEY SOURCE STUFF, GRANDMAS ATTICS, YARD SALES, OTHER ANTIQUE SHOPS, WE DON'T KNOW, WE DON'T ASK.  I GET OVERWHELMED AT FIRST.  GET MY BEARINGS AND NOSE DOWN, LET MY INTUITION BE MY GUIDE.  IT'S THE SAME PLEASURE AS ART.  THE UNKNOWN, THE FEELING OF LETTING GO, IT'S EUPHORIC.   SOMETIMES A BROKEN DOLL, SOMETIMES A GIANT PIPE ORGAN PIPE, SOMETIMES A GLITTERING VINTAGE PIN   I LOVE THE INTERACTION WITH PEOPLE, THE COMMONALITY OF STUFF, THE SADNESS AND MELANCOLY.  IT'S ACTUALLY A KIND OF THERAPY BECAUSE YOU CAN UNDERSTAND OTHERS PAIN, OTHERS LIVES, AND OTHERS.  PERIOD.

MAKING SOMETHING OUT OF NOTHING

MY BIGGEST CLAIM TO FAME IS MY ABILITY TO MAKE STUFF.  IT STSRTED AS A KID.  I WOULD TAKE A PARCHESI PIECE ANDA TOOTHPASTE CAP, GLUE THEM TOGETHER AND MAKE A LAMP FOR MY DOLLHOUSE.  I HAVE MADE A LIVING OUT OF THIS ABILITY.  IT'S SCARY HOW IT COMES TO ME.  HERE IS A RECENT IDEA AND THE THOUGHT PROCESS.  O GOT OLD SPICE BOTTLES FROM A FRIEND, DATED CIRCA 1960, HATED THE TYPEFACE, USED A MARKER TO BLACK THEM OUT,  A BLACK SHARPIE, RUBBED CHSLK IN TO AGE THEM, ADDED A TRAVEL-SIZE SCRABBLE TILE.  FOUND A RACK IN MY SHOP AND VOILA..

SOMETHING IRONIC

THERE IS SOMETHING SO SAD ABOUT A PERSON THAT HAS NEVER FELT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...THEY HAVE IT TO GIVE, THEY FEEL IT IN THEIR HEART BUT SOMEHOW IT IS NEVER RECIPROCATED.  I KNOW IT FROM EXPERIENCE, FROM PEOPLE I HAVE MET, I SEE BUSY PEOPLE, CHARGING THROUGH LIFE, BUYING THINGS, FILLING LONGINGS, TRYING TO CAPTURE YOUTH, THAT FEELING OF BELONGING, OR ACCEPTANCE, OR LIVING.  LOOKING THROUGHOUT THE WORLD FOR THE HOLY GRAIL, THAT ITEM, THAT THING THAT WILL BRING A FEW MINUTES OF JOY.  IT'S ACTUALLY A RUE.  A WONDERFUL PERSON WITHOUT CHILDREN TO LOVE, WITH EVERYTHING THAT THEY EVER WANT, TRAVEL, CLOTHES,  A BEAUTIFUL HOME, BUT STILL NOT HAPPY...STILL SEARCHING, A QUEST FOR FULFILLMENT.  IT COMES FROM WITHIN, IT COMES FROM A PLACE OF LOVE.   KNOWING GOD.  KNOWING LOVE.  ACCEPTING.  THE SEARCH IS A SAD PLACE.  IT CAN NEVER BE FILLED.  IT IS PART OF THE HUMAN CONDITION.  I AM ON THAT JOURNEY.  WE ALL ARE.