WHEN IN ROME...

WHEN I USED TO LIVE IN TEXAS, I  ALWAYS LOOKED FOR ITEMS THAT "SPOKE " TO ME...ALWAYS LOCAL STARS, BARBED WIRE, HATS, BOOTS,  YOU KNOW ROUGH RIDING. COWPOKE STUFF...NOW THAT THE INTERNET...SOCIAL MEDIA ...BE IN EGYPT IN A T.V. FEED IN A SECOND WORLD THAT WE LUVE IN HAS COME INTO OUR HOMES. I AM COMPELLED TO MIX CULTURALLY,  BLEND WORLDLY, AND BORROW EXTENSIVELY FROM ALL MANKIND.  IT IT, IN FACT WHAT MAKES A ROOM INTERESTING,  A LIFE COLORFUL, AND A MIND VIBRANT...WITH ALL OF THE OPPORTUNITIES FOR US TO EXPLORE THIS (SHRINKING) WOELD WE CAN COLLECT AND DISPLAY MANY KINDS OF REFERENTIAL OBJI.

I HAVE BEEN MIA

IT'S BEEN AWHILE SINCE I'VE BEEN PLOPPED DOWN IN FRONT OF MY PHONE...I'VE BEEN ORGANIZING MY APARTMENT AND STUDIO...IM TRYING TO FIND A PIECE OF PAPER FOR MY LAWYER, HAVE YOU EVER HAD TO TEAR UP EVERYTHING TO FIND ONE SMALL THING THAT YOU PUT SOMEPLACE SPECIAL SO YOU WOULDN'T LOSE IT....THEN LOST IT?  WELCOME TO MY LIFE.  I AM ABOUT TO VENTURE INTO A NEW PHASE OF MY LIFE...ONE WHERE I ACTUALLY KEEP ART AND FAMILY AND FRIENDS ABOVE STUFF AND JUNK...I THINK PRIORITIES ARE FINALLY GETTING SETTLED, I FEEL LIKE I DID WHEN I WAS IN GRADUATE SCHOOL, STEPPING AWAY FROM MY TASKS AND OBLIGATIONS AND ENJOYING MY LIFE.  I LOVE CREATING - I ALWAYS HAVE.  ITS AMAZING WHEN YOU DO WHAT YOU LOVE; HOW THINGS LOOK.  I KNOW TRUDGING AND SCHLEPPING STUFF WILL HAVE AN EVENTUAL REWARD.   I FEEL IT IN MY HEART.  I AM LOOKING FOR A VIDEOTROPHER FOR THE SHOW....ANYONE INTERESTED?

WELCOME TO THE WILD

WHENEVER I THINK THAT MY LIFE IS A LONELY TRAVEL I REMEMBER THE FRIENDS THAT I HAVE...THEY SOMETIMES DISAPPOINT OR FORGET OR EVEN HURT ME BUT USUALLY THEY FILL ME WITH JOY AND HOPE.   I WISH THAT I COULD SHARE MY HEART WITH ALL BUT ALLOWING MYSELF TO BE VULNERABLE SEEMS TO CAPTURE MY WEAKNESS.   IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T WANT TO BE EXPOSED TO OTHER WAYS OF LOVE...IT'S A WAY TO PROTECT MYSELF FROM HURT, OF ALL THE THINGS I PUT UP WITH, IT'S MY HEART I MUST PROTECT.   WITHOUT A CARE...LEAVING MYSELF VULNERABLE IS NOT AN OPTION.   BROKEN DREAMS ARE ALWAYS SOMETHING TO KEEP CLOSED....

THINK YOU KNOW YOURSELF?

IF I COULD UNDERSTAND WHAT MAKES ME TICK, I COULD UNLOCK THE MYSTERIES OF MANKIND.  SOMETIMES I THINK LOGICALLY...IT ONLY GAPPENS BRIEFLY BECAUSE I AM SO LEFT BRAINED.  SPIRITUALLY, I EXIST TO CARRY OUT GOD'S PLAN WHICH I AM BEGINNING TO THINK IS ABOUT CAPTURING EXPRESSION, EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY.  I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON MY PAIN CONCEPT FOR WAY TOO LONG.  A SENSE OF HUMOR IS JUST THE BRIDGE TO UNDERSTANDING, I THINK, IN TERMS OF EXPRESSION.  I HOPE TO GLORIFY THE LORD BY HAVING WORK THAT EXPRESSES THE INEXPRESSIBLE.  I LOVE THE IDEA OF A VIEWER BEING ABLE TO INTERPRET A CONCEPT THROUGH JUXTAPOSED OBJECTS.   MORE ON THIS ONCE MY BRAIN FIGURES IT OUT.

WE ARE WHAT WE IS

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT TRYING TO REINVENT MYSELF BUT WHERE I AM I'M ALWAYS THERE.  I GUESS THAT IS IT IN A NUTSHELL...WHERE WE ARE WE ARE THERE...IF YOU EVER LOVE DEEPLY AND EXPECT IT IN RETURN RENEMBER TO ALWAYS LOVE YOURSELF, BE TRUE, CAPTURE YOUR OWN HEART...MAKE JOY WHERE YIU CAN, KEEP IT REAL, BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF...ALWAYS.

GUESS WE KNOW THE SHOW TITLE

HOW ABOUT "FROM EXTREME CHAOS TO RELATIVE STRUCTURE ".  I KNOW I HAVE TO TWEEK THAT...IT IS GONG TO BE A BALLAD / SCRAPBOOK ENTRY INTO MY VERY CONFUSED SOUL.  I KNOW MY POINT-OF-VIEW IS WEIRD,  MY SENSE OF HUMOR IS WARPED,  BUT I KNOW MY REALITY IS SHARED...EVERYONE THAT I KNOW IS WAKING AROUND WOUNDED.  I THINK I CAN TAP INTO PAIN.   IF YOU EVER THINK THAT YOU ARE GOING THROUGH SOMETHING  AND YOU'RE CONVINCED THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY ON....YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE...YOU SHOULD TRY TO CREATE A WORLD WHERE YOU CAN BELIEVE IN SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE AND SOMETHING THAT YOU DO.  I WENT TO THE FLOOR WHEN MY WORLD FEEL APART BUT I DECIDED THAT IT WOULD DEFINE THE NEXT YEARS OF MY LIFE.  I DISMANTLED MY EXTENSIVE COLLECTIONS AND BEAUTIFUL HOME AND CREATED A WONDERFUL SHOP FILLED WITH MY HEART.  ITS BWEN HARD TO LET GO OF THINGS I HAVE LOVED...BUT MY LIFE IS NOT MY HOUSE OR STUFF.  IT IS ABOUT THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT I HAVE GLEENED FROM THE WONDERFUL PEOPLE I HAVE MET THROUGH A TERRIFYING PORTION OF MY LIFE.  I HAVE SAVED ONLY THE THINGS I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT,  I LIVE IN 4 ROOMS NOW.  IT SEEMS LIKE IT IS NEVER TO LATE TO GET CONTROL OF YOUR OWN LIFE...

IF "YA KNOW ANY GOOD IDEÀS

I GAVE MYSELF TIME TO GRIEVE WHEN MY MARRIAGE FAILED...I KNOW STAYING BUSY AND HAVING A FOCUS IS WHAT UNIVERSALLY THERAPISTS TRY TO MOVE PEOPLE TOWARDS IN TRAGIC SITUATIONS, BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT THERE WAS A MOMENT WHEN ALL PROPS FAIL AND I CAN RESUME MY LIFE.  I MISS MY MATE,  I'M TIRED OF GOING THROUGH MY EXPERIENCES WITHOUT HIM.  WE HAD (I THOUGHT) A KIND OF KISMET BUT HE FELL IN LOVE WITH A DOMINICAN HOME WRECKER (MARRIED FOUR TIMES, NOW FIVE). I THOUGHT MY WORLD WOULD FALL APART,  BUT I LEARNED SOMETHING ABOUT LOVE...I WROTE ABOUT THREE HUNDRED PAGES OF A DEAR JOHN LETTER AND REALIZED THAT I NEEDED TO LEARN TO LOVE MYSELF...IT TOOK ME ABOUT TWO HUNDRED TO TURN MY SADNESS TO JOY AND MY ANGER TO SOMETHING THAT RESEMBLED A WORKING MODEL OF SELF LOVE.  IT'S  A STRUGGLE DAILY, I HAD GIVEN UP ON MY DREAMS TO ALLOW HIS,  AND MY LIFE WASN'T WORTH ANYTHING WITH HIS,  I THOUGHT.   I STILL LOVE HIM.  I ALWAYS WILL.  I DATE AND I THINK OF HIM,  I AM NOT READY TO MOVE ON...I GUESS THEE IS A PART OF ME THAT BELIEVES GOD GIVES YOU ONE MATE...ONE CHANCE TO CREATE A HAPPY LOVING MARRIAGE AND THROUGH TIME (TWENTY-FIVE YEARS),  RESENTMENT WITH JOB STRESS, CHILD REARING, TRAVEL, JUST ALL OF LIFE'S CURVEBALLS WE HAD MOVED AWAY FROM WHAT WAS IMPORTANT.   I HAD GROWN SO CLOSED-OFF I COULDN'T REACH OUT TO HIM AND EXPLAIN MY PAIN, FOR FEAR OF REJECTION.  HE MISTAKENLY THOUGHT I HAD GROWN COLD BUT EVERY TIME I GOT READY TO OPEN UP I MADE HIM "PAY " FOR HIS TRANSGRESSION.  I GUESS WE COULDN'T WIN ANYWAY.  HE LOVES HER, I GUESS.  IT MAKES ME SO SAD.  THE SADDEST PART REALLY IS THE CHILDREN...HE HASN'T SPOKEN TO THEM EXCEPT IN ANGER FOR FIVE YEARS.  THEY HAVE GRADUATED, MOVED, GOTTEN INTO SERIOUS RELATIONSHIPS, AND HE HAS CHOSEN TO BE ABSENT.  HE MUST BE AN ISLAND.  THEY ARE GREAT KIDS,  I AM LUCKY THAT THEY TURNED OUT OKAY BECAUSE MOST YOUNG ADULTS THAT LOOSE A PARENT BECOME SCARRED.  I'M STILL NOT SURE ABOUT THE YOUNGEST ...SHE SEENS TO SETTLE FOR ANY FORM OF LOVE.  PLEASE TELL ME HOW TO GRIEVE...

AUCTION TIME

WHO DOESN'T LOVE AN AUCTION?  I GO FAIRLY FREQUENTLY RO AN AUCTIION UP IN MAINE (DOWN MAIN) ( AS THEY SAY AROUND HERE) .  I'D LOVE TO GO TGROUGH MY THOUGHT PROCESS...CAN I SELL IT?  CAN I DOUBLE THE PRICE?  IS IT PRACTICAL?  IF I HAVE TO KEEP IT WILL I STILL LIKE TO LOOK AT IT?  AM I OVERBIDDING TO "GAMBLE".

CALLING IT OUT

IF YOU EVER THINK ABOUT THE PEOPLE THAT YOU LOVE AND WANT TO DEFINE THEM, OR GIFT THEM A BOX...COLLAGE,  EVEN A PAINTING THINK ABOUT TIMES YOU SPEND TOGETHER.  THE TRUTH ABOUT A THOUGHTFUL GIFT IS EMPATHY... OUR SOCIETY IS QUITE SELF GRATIFYING,  AND A TRULY SELFLESS IMAGE SPEAKS VOLUMES.

SEARCH AND CHANGE

I THOUGHT ABOUT THE USE OF COMMUNICATION AS A PITHY,  FUN, QUIRKY ACCESSORY.  I LOVE A SILLY USE OF OBJECTS AS A CHALKBOARD.  WECOME TO CAMP...DONATIONS ... AND I HAVE USED BLACK LUGGAGE WITH CONTENTS LABELLED.   I LOVE REPURPOSING STUFF,  IT APPEALS TO MY GREEN NOTIONS AND I LOVE THE IDEA OF TRYING TO KEEP CREATIVE IDEAS ALIVE.

WONDERFUL WOMEN

THERE ARE SO MANY TERRIFIC LADIES THAT HAVE BECOME PART OF MY LIFE.  I HAVE A POSSY OF GALS THAT ENRICH MY WORLD..SOME ARE PRAGMATIC, OTHERS ARTSY, HELP ME MATHEMATICALLY, AND OTHERS I CAN BOUNCE IDEAS OFF OF.PROBABLY THE BEST  RELATIONSHIPS THAT I CAN REMEMBER SINCE COLLEGE.  I AM EMOTIONALLY BALANCED, MOSTLY. DUE TO A GROUP OF LOVELY SUPPORTIVE WOMEN...I LOVE YOU ALL...

WHEN TO SAY WHAT'S WRONG

I ALWAYS BELIEVE THAT WE ARE ONLY ALLOWED SO MUCH TO BEAR IN OUR LIFE.   I KNOW THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY WAYS TO GO THROUGH WHAT SEEMS LIKE ENDLESS PAIN.  USUALLY IT IS MET WITH A LESSON THAT IF NOT LEARNED IS CERTAIN TO BE REPEATED ... I HATE TO BE A FATALIST BUT I'M SURE WE ALL NEED TO LEARN LESSONS ...

HELLO SWEET ONE

THAT'S THE NAME OF MY NEW STUDIO...IF YOU EVER THOUGHT THAT THNGS DON'T EVER COME TRUE, TALK TO ME.  IT'S ACTUALLY SUITE 1 NOT SWEET ONE BUT ISN'T IT A COINCIDENCE?  I NEED A TWITTER ACCOUNT.   HOW DO I GO ABOUT SETTING IT UP?  I WISH I WASN'T SO TECHNILOGICALLY CHALLENGED.  IT'S FUNNY, IF I GIVE IT TO MY KIDS TO "SHOW " ME THEY DO IT IN 10 SECONDS AND I HAVE LEARNED NOTHING...I GUESS NOW I KNOW HOW MY BEGINNING DRAWING STUDENTS FEEL.  ARE YOU READY TO LEARN ABOUT THE PROCESS OF MAKING SHADOWBOX ART?  I'M GOING TO START A TUTORIAL IN THE COMING BLOGS. I'VE BEEN GETTING READY FOR MY UPCOMING SHOW.  TRYING TO FORMULATE A COMPLETE IDEA.  ITS HARD WHEN THINGS HAVE BEEN SO DISCOMBOBULATED FOR SO LONG.  IF YOU'VE EVER BEEN TRYING TO GET BACK YOUR LIFE...YOU CAN RELATE.