TAKE ME, I'M YOURS

WITHIN THE CONFINES OF MAKING A LIVING AND MAKING A LIFE, I HAVE DECIDED THAT I AM TRULY NOT A BUSINESS MINDED PERSON.  NOT REALLY THAT INTERESTING IN MAKING A KILLING IN RETAIL.  I LOVE MAKING ART AND CREATING...NOW IF I COULD ONLY MAKE A DECENT WAGE, DOING IT.  HAVING A PARTNER IN MY SHOP HAS MADE ME REALIZE THAT MAYBE THIS ISN'T WHAT MOTIVATES ME.  HE IS MAKING AND DOING ALL THE TIME...I JUST WANT TO GET HOME TO GET AN IDEA TO FRUITION.  FRUSTRATING.  I DON'T HAVE THE KILLER INSTINCT NEEDED TO BE A GOOD BUSINESS PERSON.  SAD, BUT TRUE.

TAPPING THE CREATIVE SPIRIT

ALWAYS ALLOW YOURSELF AN OUTLET FOR CREATING TO HAPPEN.  WHETHER IT IS AN EMPTY PAD OF DRAWING PAPER, A PIECE OF MODELING CLAY, A NOTEBOOK...ALL BECOMES FODDER FOR

I. ME. MY.

IT'S BEEN AN INCREDIBLE JOURNEY...MOVING OUT OF MY SPACE, MOVING INTO MY BARN...IT IS SO FULL, I NEED TO GET PLYWOOD DOWN TO MAKE A SECOND FLOOR FOR STORAGE.  I HAVE LOTS AND LOTS OF REALLY NEAT PIECES TO SELL, I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO MAKING A NEAT SPACE OUT OF THE CLUTTER.  THERE ARE SOME REALLY NEAT THINGS.  I AM SO TIRED RIGHT NOW,  THOUGH.   I AM REALLY TIRED.   I CLEARED OUT MY LIFE A BIT AND I AM EXHAUSTED.  RISK TAKING AND DREAMING BIG, HAVE TURNED MY LIFE UPSIDE DOWN.   THERE ARE MANY, MANY UPSIDES, BUT AS THE CROW FLYS. 

WEIRDLY QUIET

WHATEVER HAPPENS I THINK WE SURVIVE, THE ONLY PROBLEM IS WE NEVER GO QUIETLY, OR GRACEFULLY IT SEEMS.  WISH THAT AT SOME POINT IN MY LIFE I COULD BENEFIT FROM AN EGO.   IT SEEMS I AM ALWAYS PUTTING MYSELF DOWN AND NOT ALLOWING THE TRUTH TO COME OUT.  IF I AM TO BELIEVE THE UNIVERSE,  THINGS WILL COME TO ME AS I PUT THEM OUT THERE.   TROUBLE IS I AM NOT TRYING TO GET THINGS OUT THERE.  I WANT ENOUGH,  I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO MY ART.   I'M NOT CONCERNED WITH THINGS OTHER PEOPLE CARE ABOUT.   I WANT A NEW ROOF, PAINT FOR MY HOUSE,  A STUDIO FILLED WITH ARTISTS THAT I CAN TALK TO.   IT SEEMS LIKE THIS IS ASKING TOO MUCH.   MY WILDEST DREAMS DON'T INCLUDE A GOB OF MONEY.   I WANT TO HAVE FREEDOM TO TRAVEL.   FREEDOM TO WORK ON ART.   FREEDOM TO JUST BE.   IS THAT TOO LOFTY?  I GAVE A LOT OF MY ENERGY TO RAISING FAMILY.  I HOPED I HAD A BIT LEFT, WHEN THE KIDS WERE GONE...GOT NOTHING LEFT IN THE TANK.  IF DREAMS HAD WINGS WE WOULD ALL FLY.

WELL, MOSTLY MOVED

MANY DAYS, LOTS OF WORK...NO VOICE OR ENERGY,  BUT I'VE EXITED OUT OF HALF OF MY STORE.  MY BARN IS FULL, MY WORK HAS STARTED, BUT I'M READY TO START FROM THE BOTTOM, REINVENT WHAT I DO, BECOME AN ENIGMA...MAKE SOMETHING CREATIVE HAPPEN WITHIN THE CONFINES OF A BARN, A HOME, AND A STUDIO...I CAN'T IMAGINE A BETTER. A LITTLE WORKING SITUATION.